Wow. Some time!

I finished up my chores early today. Started my bible study. I read and played and painted with the kids. I snuggled them and watched movies with them and now they are in bed... What to do? A moment to myself? And I'm not absolutely exhausted? Time to blog!

I've been so incredibly blessed by the fellowship of my family in the past few months. I was reflecting on my anxiety regarding the "darker" seasonal months (where it starts to get dark earlier and earlier) and realized that the anxiety stems from the past few years. When Josh was on the road and travelling, I was so... alone. And when it's dark outside when you are driving home from work, that "alone" factor is amplified. I mean, I wasn't always lonely or depressed or anything, but a lot of the time, I was. It was a lonely existence. To have this opportunity and time to be with my family, to have Josh in the "yard" at work instead of on the road, it's been the most amazing unexpected blessing. One year ago I had no idea I'd be here, I had no reason to expect that anything in my daily life would change from what it was.

I'm asked frequently how things are going living at my parents. Truly, honestly-- Great. I think some people are disappointed by this answer, cuz they are lookin' for the dirt. There isn't any. H-o-n-e-s-t-l-y: We enjoy it. We love their company. We love their help and love towards the kids. We are blessed to have such amazing people to live with. And they are gone all the time! Seriously! Sometimes Josh and I feel like we live here and they visit us! It's a plus that the layout of their house is ideal for living together- we have separate areas of the house and communal areas of the house- so we can come together and be apart when we'd like.

I realized, that the thing that bugs me most about living here is what other people must think. It's the only time I ever think about moving out- when I'm thinking about what a loser people must think I am if I'm living in my parents house, married with 2 kids. But that's no way to live. And we're so happy, our kids are happy, my parents are happy. So phooey, I guess, on what "others" think or letting my mind go there.

The kids... these kids.... man, I wish I could tell ya! They are so amazingly wonderful- how can I articulate their little smiles and giggles and personalities into words??? The other night Josh and I laid in bed and I turned to him and said, "aren't they just the BEST?" and he said, "I love them soooo much! They're perfect!". THIS is love. What a glimpse at the Creator, Abba Father...

Tonight, for example, I'm giving Chet his first "solids" meal. I put him in the high chair, reclined so he can sit, and push him over to the kitchen table. Evie climbs on the kitchen chair, and she's giggling-- the baby is eating in her chair?? This must be a joke! Babies don't eat food! I explain to her that she used to be a baby, and that this is how I fed her. She sat in this chair and I mashed her a banana, and here's some oatmeal for him too... She's on board, she's helping me, and letting me know that we've spilled some, and she's leaning in towards him, showing him how to eat a banana... and Chet's just wide eyed, looking at her, his eyes practically dancing in her presence. That boy LOVES his sister, he's just smitten by her 'big girl' ways and attention. And any time she leans in towards him he opens his mouth biiiiiig because he knows that there is going to be a smooch planted on him!

This is my evening! These two darling individuals and I--- laughing, loving, living... What a wonderful God that I serve that this is my life!

Motherhood is the most amazing blessing. Man, it's hard work, it's draining, there are days where I've literally thought about getting in my car and driving to Tahoe or somewhere to just get away from the madness! But, then there are the moments where I'm holding Chet and he's giggling at something Evie does and she's telling me a new word that she's learned and my heart just swells in my chest so that I feel it might burst with love right here and now. I'm in love, I'm smitten, I'm amazingly and wonderfully and truly BLESSED to have these little ones in my life. Thank you God for these little ones. Josh and I are truly and amazingly over the moon thankful that you entrusted them to us.